I have written many words over and over again. Some are painful, dreary, and everything else in between. Others are words of love, wisdom, and selflessness, but none of which describes me. I rarely get the chance to describe myself because my mind is filled with wonder of love, success, and pain. So, who am I? The hopeless romantic who use to be built on love and passion, or the dreamer who can build her dreams with two hands? I am none. I consider myself another piece of this Earth, another human who’s just trying to survive, and another loveless kid trying to grow up. I am quite different in a sense that I don’t do what the world expects of me; rather, I do what I expect of myself. I do things based on what I think is right at the moment, and if things will fall apart I will do my best to accept it. Wrong decisions will be made, but the hardest part is not regretting it. I love girls… something society may not accept, but that’s ok. It’s my life, my love, my heart, and my everything that’s on the line… not theirs. So they have no say on who I love and what I do. You see at the end of the day, their life doesn't change because I exist and therefore, my life doesn’t change because their homophobic bodies exist. Pain is my source of life: the only thing real enough to remind me that if pain exists, so does love.
When you deny that you like a girl, but your friends keep on insisting that you do. So eventually, you end up telling them “yea, maybe I got a little thing for her.” And you try to make excuses like “it’s impossible I can’t like her I just met her” or “she probably doesn’t like me anyways.” (Sigh). I hate liking a girl or even having a crush on a girl and try to stop myself. Then, I imagine doing stuff with her like cuddling or be on skype all day everyday. It’s a scary thought. I’m hella scared! But, there’s nothing I can do except keep acting like she hasn’t been on my mind all day.
“How do you teach homosexuality? Is it like French? I was born of heterosexual parents, taught by heterosexual teachers, in a fiercely heterosexual society. So why then am I homosexual? And, no offense meant, if it were true that children mimic their teachers, we’d have a hell of a lot more nuns running around.”
The conversation between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have.I Wrote This for You (via dreaming-naked)
You can be lonely even when you are loved by many people, since you are still not anybody’s one and only.Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl (via bookmania)